Friday, March 25, 2011

The Adventure of "How can Mackenzie Love better Today???"

Have you ever been in situations where you think to yourself "is god trying to tell me something????" or is this just a coincidence?. Some people don't believe in coincidence...and well I...I just don't know how i feel about the word coincidence, especially when it comes to seeing people i used to know...it's always easier to just think it's a coincidence.


This shirt explains the situations i was in this week. All i wanted to do was mumble awkward under my breath and WALK AWAY...walk away fast. Here is the reason for this unique picture ...i happened to run into an old friend that i hadn't seen in a long time. Long story short I felt things ended badly...and we never came to terms with anything, we just left them up in the air...so you can imagine how awkward this was . To be completely honest...i kinda hoped i'd never have to see him again. Not because of a hate i had towards him,but  simply because i didn't want to  deal with the anxiety and complicity of it all. I guess i thought I could pretend nothing happened, why not right? sounds easy enough?. Well without getting into the nitty gritty of it all. In the past three days i've seen this person more than twice. May i remind you it's been months since i've spoken to or seen this person...crazy right?...why on earth would this dude show up more than twice in two days!!.The first time i see him is driving when i was on my way to work...and my initial reaction was all okay, cool that was weird,but it's a small town it's a coincidence, no big deal. But to my surprise that very same day i see him in this sandwich shop, which i think would be the LAST place i'd see him honestly. So of course i leave there thinking...okay now that was kinda really weird.

After running things through my mind a thousand times (like i do always) i went to coffee with a dear friend of mine, because of course when things get weird you call the people you love the most right?As I started explaining what happened my friend began to ask me questions which led to talking about the way things ended between me and the person in the sandwich shop and we realized there was some things left unsaid and pretty much there was just a big fat elephant hangin out there... i told her "i feel like if the lords wanting me to confront this ...then he'll open a door for me too"... She smiled and goes "well mackenzie is seeing someone 3 time in 2 days not a BIG enough door for you to notice maybe gods already opened it"...and of course i sat there like "oh...that makes sense..duh why didn't i think of that" ha!LOVE ya emily:). 

Well then i was like shoot 3 different opportunitys to confront it and i've missed all them...go me! haha. But god never dissappoints does he???....I go to lunch today with my best friend which is a typical day for me...and about half way into our lunch the door swings open...and what do ya know...he walks in. Me and my friend and the people at the table next to me (who know the situation) all just try to keep ourselves from bursting in laughter...because OF COURSE RIGHT, this would happen. haha. i tried to keep my composure while jordyn couldn't get out the rest of her sentence because she was going to die laughing i just kept saying"continue jordyn...CONTINUE". I bet you are all thinking finally she walked up and said something...but nope...didn't have it in me.

But believe it or not we ended up connecting later that day. Not like i expected, but it feels okay now, before i always felt unsettled about the situation, i felt like there was a lot of "what if's" and "how come"...and just a lot of wondering. I'm happy to say thats over. I've learned a lot. I've just noticed i'm never too comfortable for long, gods always down for another adventure of "How can mackenzie love better"


Thanks god for opening doors and closing them in your timing. 
I love You.

Wednesday, March 23, 2011

Trust.TRust.TRUst.TRUSt.TRUST.

There's been so many blog ideas racing through my mind these last few months, that i've been meaning to spit out and type out. so here we go.




Trust. TRust. TRUst. TRUSt.TRUST.
This is what my journey of trust looked like to give you a visual picture of the process...it started out small and day by day got...


Bigger,Bolder,&Stronger.


For a month or so i felt like the lord continued to ask me questions like"do you trust me"..."are you trusting me"..."do you trust that if i take this away i will still make all things good"..."do you trust that i'm closer than your very own breath" He began to speak things to me like...I know the sound of your laugh, I hear your weeping in the middle of the night, in your broken-ness i begin to restore in MY TIMING,in your confusion i bring clarity and peace beyond YOUR understanding, your a child of LOVE and i am the greatest teacher of love...i AM love...&i remain the same." ...


One morning in this particular month I was driving down shasta view, there was nothing special about this day just a normal morning,when in a moment the lord showed me that when i say the words "i trust you" they hold more weight than i could have possibly of fathomed. I realized god wanted to take me on a whole new adventure of life with him. He wanted to show me just how precious trusting him is. He wanted to show me how faithful of a father he is to me. He wanted me to discipline myself and change the way my mind was translating the word trust. He wanted to show me a new meaning and unlatch any former meaning of trust that i'd ever known and give it to him trusting he'd make something beautiful out of it . He did just that. He showed me how much bigger he was than any circumstance that came my way. He showed me how his truth will always stand where any lie tries to creep in. He showed me that his promises are not something to be taken lightly. With all this came an indescribable freedom that i had never felt before...and trust me i've felt freedom before, but this freedom was just different and lovely.


This was not an easy task for me. It was so uncomfortable for me. There were days where i'd want to just take all the control back and be like oh god you can sit in the passenger seat...i'll just drive i'm more comfortable that way anyways...but through it all i learned a lot about myself and my tendencies as a women of god. I took this process one day at a time. It was beautiful, it was messy, it was good. God's grace is so good.His love is undeniable.

Thursday, November 25, 2010

November 25. Car rides with friends;)

I'm sorry i'm doing really bad at this challenge thing, it may take me all year to get to a months worth of posts! 
Tonight i am thankful for Car rides with friends.


 I felt like this week i needed a week to myself meaning "a week of rest" i ended up going to Paradise to watch a football game with some good friends to start it off. most people don't look at that as rest, but to me it was rest. i relaxed, hung out with great people, had great conversation, and soaked in some amazing worship during the car rides.  I love nights like these, where you get to get away for a little while even if that only means an hour and a half away.Brings me to a place of peace. Where i don't worry so much about the little things, but instead whats going on in that moment. While i was in paradise i wasn't constantly wondering what was going on in redding, i was focused and my attention was on what was going on with the people i was with and the place i was at. it was nice. I think that's what this week is going to be about for me. Not to worry about everything i could worry about or what the world wants me to worry about,  but to just be still and take in everything around me... the scents, the voices, the laughter, the eye contact, everything that's captured in a moment. 

I am feeling blessed and my heart feels full tonight. <3

Thursday, November 18, 2010

Text Messaging

I've missed a couple days so here i am catching up a bit.

Don't you love those people who just know you?...They can tell your upset without really even knowing your upset? Or the ones who know something great has happened in your life, just because they know you and the way you act.

While i was driving home last night around 11 pm i was  feeling confused, frustrated, and well a little hopeful at least. After i arrived home I spent the night running things through my mind playing things back in my mind and forwarding things in my mind... finally i ran my mind so much that i eventually fell asleep. This morning i woke up to a text from one of my most precious friends. She had wrote that it seemed i was upset last night, and wanted to know what was going on(not because she's nosey, but because she genuinely cares). I had told her a short short version and her response was PERFECT. Best thing i could have received at that moment. I am thankful today for text messages. yup! not only that, but i am thankful for the incredible women that Emily Branca is.
Loves xoxo.

Monday, November 15, 2010

Day.6

I ADORE THESE TWO MORE THAN YOU WILL PROBABLY EVER KNOW






I am thankful for two of my most favorite friends Zoé and Judah Fleck.
These two make me laugh so much that i could possibly get a six pack.
I feel so blessed to be apart of their lives and to watch them grow in extraordinary ways.
I am honored to be able to be apart of there journey through life..it's going to be a beautiful one.
These two bring me to a place of hope. These two are going to change the world someday.
I know they've already changed my life, crazy right Zoé-3 yrs. old and Judah-6 yrs. old.
Zo is my little sassy-pants just like her mama;) who always finds a way to speak straight to my heart with her words or actions.She is a fighter and one of the strongest little girls i know, SERIOUSLY she is full of life. She's had me wrapped around her finger since i can remember...anything she asks for starts out with ..ummm...MAAAACKKKK. :)  so precious.
Judah is incredible. He is one of the sweetest boys i know. His heart is full of love and sensitivity...just like his daddy's. I love hanging out with judah, he sometimes says things that blow my mind. He knows more about transformers than any other kids i know... i dare you to challenge him in that... ;) Judah is someone whose smile can make any day a good one.


I could go on an on about these two really, They've changed my life.
I Love you Babes:)

Sunday, November 14, 2010

Day.5 Lateedah-dee

I skipped a day...I knew i'd do it some time within this month...but hey life happens.


So as you know i've been sharing a little something that i'm thankful for each day, and today i hadn't really thought about it...which is another reason why this challenge is so great. Sometimes we get so caught up in what we have to DO next...or what's NOT going on in our life...why we don't have THAT job...or THAT life...we miss everything else and every opportunity to be thankful for what's going on in our lives, even the LITTLE THINGS!


Today i am thankful for music. Every kind of music, Soaking music, Pump up music, Worship music, Chill listening music. I love that no one in the world has the SAME exact music taste as you. Not one person. I love everything about music. I love how you can always find a song to fit your "mood" or "day". I love those songs where you just want to get up and bust a move...i know you all know what i'm talking about (Single Ladies- Beyonce, Just Dance-Lady GaGa).  I love how songs can somehow relate to just how you're feeling. I really love how we can use music to sing praises to our father.These are just a few things that i adore about music.


 A few songs that have my heart at the moment are Sweet Disposition -The Temper Trap, Breathe-Pearl Jam, Where I belong-cory asbury, Gravity-John Mayer...and so many more..


Music,
I Love You.
Sincerly,Me.